there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
