All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
