I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Please don't give away my fajitas
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
