You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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