Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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