It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
