wakey wakey hands off snakey
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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