i jhust puked up my retainher.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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