Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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