So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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