I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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