I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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