I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
