so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You made out with two different species that night
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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