As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Randomize
