She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
