you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize