what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My penis needs a shock collar
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
