Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
