Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize