I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
