Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
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This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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