Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
