just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
this is an emotional support booty call
I want to fling myself into the sun
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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