Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You surviving the open bar?
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So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
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Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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