nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
