I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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