My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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