In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize