And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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