If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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