Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
