Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize