if i can run in heels then i can drive
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize