Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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