My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Shame - the story of my life.
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