Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
