the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
