Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
