You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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