I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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