Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
