I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
