ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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