I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
