Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
