I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
