I showed him my bush... on skype.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
