New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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