If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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