Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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