I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
