Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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