New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
