my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
