Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
