whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
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What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize