Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My penis needs a shock collar
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
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