yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
