your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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