Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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